Between Dusk and Dawn…

Some *scribble* *scribble* by Ameera

What are you made of?

Ever felt like you’ve got too much on your plate to handle? No, I’m not talking about food!  I mean it metaphorically – doesn’t it ever happen to you that you suddenly feel overwhelmed by one too many issues? Of course it does. If you’re human, you’d have gone through such a phase at some point in life.

Lately, my plate’s been pretty full too. Life ladled out a big portion and I was pretty confused about how I’d go about it when – plop! – came another helping. Oops, major confusion! I wish I could put a hold on it. After all, the size of this plate is limited and can only hold a certain measure. Any more and it’s going to spill… that would make one big mess.

So why is it that we find ourselves in situations which threaten to tug us in opposite directions? Allah(swt) Knows best. Even if the person is question isn’t willing to accept it at first, most such occasions are times in our lives where Allah(swt) is testing your mettle. What is it that you are made of? Of course, Allah(swt) already Knows everything about our past, present and future but the word “test” refers to giving you a chance to reach into your potential and excel. By giving us a challenging situation to deal with, Allah(swt) effectively hands us the opportunity to rise higher, if we make the right choices with the right attitude. Isn’t that just amazing? If only we could understand that, much of the time we spend in despair can be channeled into gathering good deeds, earning that “promotion” in Allah(swt)’s Sight.

As I write this, I’m trying to explain the same concept to myself. It may sound like I already “get it” but really, many times during the day today, I couldn’t make sense of my situation. I’m facing up to some major decisions in the days ahead and I can only hold them off for a couple of days more. Dua, imploring Allah(swt) to give my case a hearing in His Court, is my only comforter. There’s no person, authority or any kind of power that can make easy for me the decisions that I am faced with. I also know that however much I try, I cannot know what truly is best for me so there also, I am depending 101% on what Allah(swt) will guide me too. Istikhara is my “shot of adrenaline”, which keeps me going two or three days before I need another one.

When things started getting complicated, I realized such complexity could only be a test from Allah(swt). How would I react? Anger? Disappointment? Impatience? I hope not… whatever goes on in my heart, with whatever urgency I make my dua’s to Allah(swt), they are after all between Him and me – no human will hear me complain, Insha’Allah. And it’s odd, in a nice way, how this inner resolve gives you a positive feeling. Even if the questions and troubles are still in the air, my faith is in the One Who has never left me in want of anything I sincerely desired. I expect from Him the Best, and I pray to Him to make me content with what He guides me to.

It’s easy to tell another person to keep good faith and remain positive in the midst of worries but when you go through it yourself, you realize how difficult it is to stay cheery when logic tells you the outcome might not be to your favor. Only through grabbing the opportunity for self-analysis and really making yourself submit patiently to Allah(swt)’s Will will you be able to realize how best to seek the right answers and help others to do the same. It’s this realization that prompted me to blog about this now. Right, I gotta go make more dua now. It’s very late in the night and I want to raise my case again before Allah(swt) at the time where He openly offers to grant His slaves so much good! 🙂

4 responses to “What are you made of?

  1. Sammy February 7, 2010 at 5:37 pm

    Wow, so many entries in such short a time. Good going. 😉

    I feel like I’m struggling all the time too, but my strategy is far from being inspiring. I just curl up in my room or with my mom and make small talk, or find other ways to procrastinate or get AWAY from the issue at hand. The concept of a temporary life is still unfathomable to me, in terms of the decisions I make, the dreams and desires I have and producing a change that’ll help beyond my tiny aim(s). I just try to be good on a day to day basis and I know that’s far less than what I should be doing. :S

  2. muslimfitforlife February 7, 2010 at 10:07 pm

    Masha Allah, excellent post Ameera. Also thanks for adding me to your blogroll. I will be setting up one this week and extending the same courtesy.. Nice blog by the way.

  3. Ameera February 10, 2010 at 12:46 pm

    @ Sammy:

    That’s the only approach – one day at a time. Sometimes, I really think we become babies when it comes to making changes in our lives – therefore, “baby steps” are the suitable choice. A daily approach should be a good stepping stone, although not the end in itself. 🙂

    @ muslimfitforlife:

    JazakAllah! I’m happy that you beenfitted from what I wrote. I usually write about what’s on my mind or bothering me and it goes up on the blog if it’s suitable for public viewing, plus if I feel it could help another person. Writing is definitely therapeutic.

    Adding you to my blogroll was no issue at all – I’m looking forward to your posts about time mamangement. I’m hoping that they’ll help me with implementation, Insha’Allah and to kep up the motivation for change.

    JazakAllah for reading and also giving me feedback!

  4. Shireen April 18, 2010 at 9:49 pm

    Ameera I just checked ur blog after reading your article on a online hijab community n I was in a depressed state before reading your blog but now I feel better jazakallah for sharing 🙂

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