Count me out!

“And when you (Muhammad SAW) see those who engage in a false conversation about Our Verses (of the Qur’ân) by mocking at them, stay away from them till they turn to another topic. And if Shaitân (Satan) causes you to forget, then after the remembrance sit not you in the company of those people who are the wrongdoers.” (Quran 6:68)

“And when they hear Al­Laghw (dirty, false, evil vain talk), they withdraw from it and say: “To us our deeds, and to you your deeds. Peace be to you. We seek not the ignorant.” (Quran 28:55)

“And those who do not witness falsehood, and if they pass by some evil play or evil talk, they pass by it with dignity.” (Quran 25:72)

In recent days and even years, I’ve thought a lot about the right way to deal with particular situations that I face often. It’s about incessant arguments and heated debates between “Muslims” who have very little, not even the basic knowledge about their own Deen (and by choice, not because they did not have an opportunity to learn). Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about people who’re unaware of the right Islamic teachings but those who enjoy picking out what they see as “flaws” in Islam and then debate them in unbecoming ways, with an attitude that aims to push you into a corner under a barrage of allegations. This is a small group of society that is determined to not only abandon its faith but also demean it and those who are adhering to it.

The topic of the debate is usually some incident in Islamic history or some practise of Islam – there sounds the bell and the wrestling match begins! Perosnal views, long held beliefs, guesses and even incredulous, exaggerated and fabricated remarks are all pitched against one another. One round ends only to signal the start of another round. No personality, no character is spared an attack but you won’t see angry mobs out protesting against this because, of course, these are Muslims conversing and then again, in the comfort and privacy of their drawing rooms. Yes, a “drawing room” discussion and we all know what that’s about!

Shocking and painful as these discussions are, to hear such ignorance and careless regard for Allah’s Deen being discussed in a pseudo-intellectual way, under the guise of a good cause – “pondering and increasing knowledge” – yeah, right! Please spare me! Asr and then Maghrib time come and go by but the questions ”What is the concept of prayer in the Quran? Is it meditation? How do we do it? And what are the exact timings?” are not settled.

Initially, I used to sit in and share what I knew from the Quran and Sunnah, wondering how grown-ups could know so less about so simple matters. However, what I heard in those discussions shocked my ears and twisted my insides  in disgust - some of the things I can never repeat, such wild and senseless character assassinations those were, sparing not even the family and being of Prophet(pbuh) whom Allah(swt) Himself describes as being  ”upon the highest standards of character.” (Quran 68:4)

Sa`d bin Hisham asked `A’ishah about the character of the Messenger of Allah , so she replied: `Have you not read the Qur’an?’ Sa`d said: `Of course.’ Then she said: `Verily, the character of the Messenger of Allah was the Qur’an.’ (Saheeh Muslim)

The only reason I sat there was to somehow introduce the real facts into the discussions but I learned my lesson after a long, long period of time. The very intent of these discussions, to dissect and question every command that Allah(swt) gives in the Quran, to twist Islam into what they want for themsevles rather than what Allah(swt) wanted… it showed the futility of the whole exercise in the name of “pondering and reflecting”. A Muslim submits – Islam means submission to Allah(swt)’s Will and finding peace through that - not pitching a whining question -”but why this way, Allah? Why? Why? Why?” – at ever command!

So, initially, I sat with them but later, I started to realize it was not the right way of utilizing my time. “You should counter them if you believe you have the answers,” one could say but really, a Muslim’s job is not to sit down with fellow Muslims who cannot find the humility to bend their ego before Allah(swt), and then point out to them the obvious. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not being proud or anything but I speak from years of experience – sad memories – of being asked the question, “How do you know the Quran is authentic and unaltered? Besides, I can’t rely on these Maulvi people’s interpretations!” or “Perhaps even the Prophet went to idols? And you know what – I bet he did this and that too…” Astaghfirullah, I only quoted this to let you know the silliness of their arguments and why it was futile to be in such discussions. Will you not agree?

Later on, when I started moving, solely due to Allah(swt)’s guidance, from a being “Muslim by name” to a “Practising Muslim”, I too (or atleast my kind of people) became the subject of discussion. Then, it became quite personal and even more so, I was expected to answer their questions, just so they could refute me by brining in senseless arguments, with no evidence from the Quran or Sunnah. Of course, it was all under the seemingly harmless inquiry of “Did you read that verse in the Quran?” or “You know, Maulvi (a certain stereotype of a Muslim scholar) people do this and that?” Look at the way the question is framed, to make it seem as if they are genuinely interested in learning the right thing but let me tell you, it ends up with “Your idea of covering up is all wrong – there is no Hijab in the Quran” or “The five prayers have not been mentioned in the Quran! We need to interpret the Quran correctly” or even “Don’t talk to me about these Ahadith! I can’t stand it! We can interpret the Quran without all these made up stories!”

“Verily, those who dispute about the Ayât (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) of Allâh, without any authority having come to them, there is nothing else in their breasts except pride [to accept you (Muhammad SAW) as a Messenger of Allâh and to obey you]. They will never have it (i.e. Prophethood which Allâh has bestowed upon you). So seek refuge in Allâh (O Muhammad SAW from the arrogants). Verily, it is He Who is the All-Hearer, the All-Seer.” (Quran 40:56)

I’ve now come to realize, Alhamdolillah I feel this is a tiny part of wisdom in Deen that I have gained, that it is not an obligation on me to refute such arguments. It is a waste of time and energy when I could be doing better things for Islam. The best way to counter this, after knowing it to be false and vain talk, is to increase the efforts to spread Allah(swt’s) Deen, enlighten those who have the sincere yearning and desire to learn the Truth and thus, achieve something. Allah(swt) has commanded us to invite to His way and to advise others to good while admonishing them against evil in a decent way.

“Let there arise out of you a group of people inviting to all that is good (Islâm), enjoining Al-Ma’rûf (i.e. Islâmic Monotheism and all that Islâm orders one to do) and forbidding Al-Munkar (polytheism and disbelief and all that Islâm has forbidden). And it is they who are the successful.” (Quran 3:104)

This realization has brought peace to me. I do not feel guilty about not refuting every single “argument” brought forth by people, just as an excuse to cover up their own lackings in Salah, etc. When someone raises a question and I know, through experience or instinct, that the intent is not good, I avoid the discussion or move out of the area for a while, so that I would not have to hear those ignorant exchanges. It pains me when Allah(swt)’s simple Deen is ridiculed with such abandon, without fear that they will face up to Allah(swt) one terrible Day and He will ask us all, “Well, what did you do?” What will we answer when He asks us about our Salah? And when He asks us upon what basis did we ridicule His Messenger (saw) whose words and deeds, preserved in the Sunnah (by Allah(swt)) were supposed to be our guide?

Recently, my new resolve was put to test several times, such as…

“We still haven’t defined Allah – first tell me what is the definition of Allah!”

There was much worse but I cannot quote it here for the sake of decency. Alhamdolillah, even though it was as painful as ever, I was able to end the discussion quickly or go away for a while, until the topic was changed (as Allah(swt) commands). I tried to shut out the sad feelings, pray for their guidance and go on to listen to some Islamic talk online or listen to the Quran. I’ve also learned, through Islamic sources, that the right thing to do is to spend more time with pious, Allah-conscious Muslims and try to strengthen Imaan together while restricting meetings of the wrong sort, where Allah(swt)’s commands are ridiculed, to a bare minimum or at least, keep them at a level where I can interact with them in a good way (such as short visits, etc.).

Perhaps you have found yourself in such situations too but were unsure of what to do. In that case, I hope what I have concluded will benefit you as well. If you have got more to share, please leave a comment – I might benefit from your knowledge InshAllah. It would be great if you gave the reference to an Ayah or Hadith, as appropriate. I’m sure this is not the last time I shall write about this, but for now, I’ve said enough. I leave you with powerful words, may Allah guide us to Him…

“Shall We then treat the (submitting) Muslims like the Mujrimûn (criminals, polytheists and disbelievers, etc.)? What is the matter with you? How judge you? Or have you a Book through which you learn. That you shall have all that you choose? Or you have oaths from Us, reaching to the Day of Resurrection that yours will be what you judge.
Ask them, which of them will stand surety for that! Or have they “partners”? Then let them bring their “partners” if they are truthful! (Remember) the Day when the ‘Shin’ shall be laid bare (i.e. the Day of Resurrection) and they shall be called to prostrate (to Allâh), but they (hypocrites) shall not be able to do so.
Their eyes will be cast down, ignominy will cover them; they used to be called to prostrate (offer prayers), while they were healthy and good (in the life of the world, but they did not). Then leave Me Alone with such as belie this Qur’ân. We shall punish them gradually from directions they perceive not. And I will grant them a respite. Verily, My Plan is strong.” (Quran 68:35-45)

Dude, is that a Sunnah?

Have you ever got that feeling when you wished you could really cleanse your life of all those bad habits that you’ve developed and bring it as close as possible to the Prophet(saw)’s Sunnah? It so happens that whenever my Iman takes a dip for a period of time and (Alhamdolillah) grows stronger again, I begin analyzing the reasons for that dip. Anyone who’s tasted a period when their conviction was really strong would know how bad Iman dips are! And so, the analysis on the cause of the dip. One of the reasons I almost always come up with, as I mentioned earlier, are the numerous habits of routine and traits of personality we’ve come to live with, that have no real connection to the Sunnah and in fact are in contradiction to it.

Here’s an example: how many Muslims have you met and noticed that when they are served beverages by a host, they always leave a bit of the drink in the bottom of the glass? If someone (a friend or older person) casually points out that they haven’t finished their drink, the usual answer is, “No, No… I don’t want to appear like a very hungry person.” In fact, this practice is considered a very important part of the social etiquette followed in many households, where the elders explicitly instruct the children to not drink up all of what they are served… such that you will see even a five-year old towing the line perfectly.

I went out to eat with some friends recently and, as we were leaving, one of our group advised another to clean up her desert bowl. The girl responded with, “I wouldn’t want to appear that hungry!” It set me thinking… as Muslims, our actions reflect upon our beliefs and to a non-Muslim or impressionable youngster it would seem as if Muslims, and thereby Islam, regards hunger as an embarrassment. Before you cast that off as an exaggeration, just notice how we behave in the following situation…

Sara and her mother were visiting some friends. The host’s wife was preparing dinner for them but since it was running a little late, she apologized and said, “I’m sorry for the delay, the stove’s developed some problem today. Sara, you must be hungry, would you like some fruit before dinner?” Sara’s tummy growled in hunger but she firmly shook her head and said, “Oh no Aunty! I’m really quite fine, I had a really heavy lunch today!”

I’ve been in Sara’s place a great number of times and now realize what a lie that was, answering what I answered. But see, that’s the truth… our notions of social etiquette and what’s right and wrong can go so twisted and off the path of Islam that owning up to feeling hungry is a big no-no and in fact, we would go to the extent of lying to – ironically – save face!

When we read the Seerah of the Prophet(saw), it becomes clear that hunger was never a thing to be frowned upon. I can recall one or two occasions where the Prophet(saw) and his companions admitted they were hungry and even requested a little food from others, to satisfy the pangs of hunger.

Safiyya, the Prophet’s wife, said, “The Messenger of Allah, may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him, came one day and asked, ‘O Daughter of Huyay, do you have anything, for I am hungry.’ I said, ‘No by Allah, O Messenger of Allah, save two measures of flour.’ ‘Cook it!’ he said. I put it in the pot, cooked it, then said, ‘It is cooked O Messenger of Allah!’ He said, ‘Do you know if there is anything in the fat container of the daughter of Abū bakr?’ I said, ‘I know not O Messenger of Allah!’ He went himself to her house and said, ‘Anything in your fat container O daughter of Abū Bakr?’ ‘Nothing but a little,’ she said. He brought it back, squeezed it into the pot until I saw something coming out. He put his hand [on it] saying, ‘In the Name of Allah, invite your sisters for I know they feel as I do!’ I invited them and we ate until satiated. Then Abū Bakr came and entered, then ‘Umar came and entered, then a man came. They all ate to satiety and some still remained. (Majma’ al-Zawa’id)

In fact, I just remembered the time when the Prophet(saw), on the occassion of one of his marriages, said something very important.

In the hadith narrated by Asmaa’ bint Yazid ibn As-Sakan who said: “I beautified Ayesha for Allah’s Messenger, then called him to come to see her unveiled. He came, sat next to her, and brought a large cup of milk from which he drank. Then, he offered it to Ayesha, but she lowered her head and felt shy. I scolded her and said to her: “Take from the hand of the Prophet.” She then took it and drank some. Then, the Prophet said to her, “Give some to your companion.” At that point, I said: “O Messenger of Allah, rather take it yourself and drink, and then give it to me from your hand.” He took it, drank some, and then offered it to me. I sat down and put it on my kness. Then, I began rotating it and following it with my lips in order that I might hit the spot from which the Prophet had drunk. Then, the Prophet said about some women who were there with me: “Give them some.” But, they said: “We don’t want it.” (ie. we are not hungry). The Prophet said: “Do not combine hunger and fibbing!” (Ahmad and al-Humaidi)

 So now, you’re wondering what a little thing like that has to do with weakening of Iman? The truth is, all these numerous tidbits add up to make a really un-Islamic picture of our routines and personalities. Really, if our actions and words do not reflect our faith, what must be the reality of such a faith even if one should claim it is “very strong”? Both, the big picture and the little details matter in the end, to make a huge difference.