What is joy?  Can you define happiness? Measure it? Can you assign it an absolute value?

No.

Can you find real happiness in wealth, estates and other luxuries appealing to the senses?

No.

For a few days now, my extended family was deeply concerned and worried regarding the health of a much-loved member, my maternal aunt. Out of the blue, we were told she had been diagnosed by a condition, the name of which many equate only with dismal pictures of health… cancer. It was striking how such news could affect so many peoples’ lives, in such different ways. Suddenly, nothing seemed really pleasureable and alongside, advice on how best to tackle the situation started pouring in. Being separated from the rest of us by the whole world, really, you can imagine her – and our – feelings at not being able to share her burdens. Telephone calls kept the messages of wellwishing and hope connected with one another.

The true gravity of the situation was assessed by conducting further standard tests. Not knowing what to expect but hoping for the best, my mother enquired about the results. Alhamdolillah, the results turned out to be very positive for her and even though she’ll have to go through surgery to remove the cancer, then chemotherapy to truly eradicate it, the news was sooooo good Alhamdolillah! Hearing my aunt’s electrified and easy voice over the telephone, indicative of her being back to her old self where spirits were concerned, I felt real, pure, wholesome joy overtake me! My mother was smiling, laughing… it was like Eid all over again!

This is a kind of happiness that you could spend your life in search of it, exhaust all your resources, and yet never be able to recognize its fragrance, let along experience it. The relief and joy that comes from knowing your family is safe has no measure. The little stresses and tensions of our routine that bug us throughout the day suddenly fade away and you find yourself in such happy spirits that nothing seems too difficult. Alhamdolillah… for letting us taste such joys in our lives. Perhaps they are “trailers” and “samples” pointing to the kind of joy that lies in wait of the Believers in Heaven – Allah knows best!

May Allah lighten up our lives with joy and happiness and make our families the “coolness of our eyes” , both in this world and the Hereafter indeed. Ameen!

______________________________________________________________________________________________

اللَّهُمَّ لا سَهْلَ إلَّا مَا جَعَلْتَهُ سَهْلاً وَ إنْتَ تَحْعَلُ الْحزْنَ إذَا شِئْتَ سَهْلاً

O Allah, there is nothing easy except what You make easy, and You make the difficult easy if it be Your Will.
[Ibn Hibban, ibn as-Sunni]

This writer has made some very valid points in his article, “Is she a disgrace?” in ArabNews, a very popular English-language paper in the Middle East. Having gorwn up in Saudi Arabia, I could relate to what he’s saying about the Saudi family when seen in public. 

Saudi society, I know well, cannot be considered as one single unit when it comes to social problems. I wouldn’t generalize anything but from what I’ve seen, there are very strange contradictions in their social fabric. You’ll see really good practices and customs and then you’ll see things which will make you wonder if they have any basis in Islam. Indeed, many of the strange customs you might see in Saudi Arabia have very little to do with Islam. The writer of the article too has raised the same point.

A misplaced display of chivalry and misdirected obsessions characterize many Saudi men when it comes to dealing with their wives, sisters and daughters. I’m not seeing these from an ultra-liberal “I-hate-the-abaya” point of view. Rather, it’s about using the name of Islam for all sorts of silly activities that I really dislike in Saudi society. And the reason I dislike is that I really love the Saudi people, who’ve been my family for twenty years… it hurts to see them waging such silent wars within their own community.

As with many societies, there are double-standards when applying rules to men and women. Everyone will agree the woman should be covered from head to toe, hobbling around trying to make herself invisible, but few will point out to the men that they have roles to play too. Rules of morality and chastity were not made for women purely. And thus, when it comes to women, it has been drilled into the minds of the men that the women should be “handled with care”. They’d rather stay a few feet away from her to escape any potential “evil” that she may bring upon herself or him. For him, a wife, a sister or daughter  isn’t a loved and cherished member of the family but someone to guard and be perpetually worried about. If that had been the case in Islam, we’d  never read about  the exceptional and beautiful relationships that the Prophet(pbuh) of Allah had with his esteemed wives.

The Qur’an emphasizes the essential unity of men and women in a most beautiful simile:

“They (your wives) are your garment and you are a garment for them.” (Surah Baqarah 2: Verse 187)

What are the attributes/uses of a garment? A garment…

• protects you
• covers you (your faults)
• beautifies you
• defines you

Now, isn’t that something to think about?