Between Dusk and Dawn…

Some *scribble* *scribble* by Ameera

Enlightened

Every time I wonder how Allah(swt) has been so gracious on me that I cannot even imagine being able to thank Him for a fraction of what He has given me… I find myself blessed with much more than before.

Very recently, Allah(swt) set my heart at ease in all the ways that only He could. He responded to my dua’s so beautifully that I still cannot comprehend something so amazing and so nice could ever be mine to experience and cherish. It gave me one more reason to submit before His Will, even if I do not understand the wisdom behind a certain happening, because He’ll always guide me only to what is the best outcome.

What I am talking about here, right now, is marriage. I’m not married yet but I finally know who it’s going to be, Insha’Allah… and, even if it was humanly possible to say all the right words to thank Allah(swt) for this tremendous blessing, I’d still be unable to do so. Truly, Alhumdulillah is the most I can say… nothing more could ever do justice to how I feel about this.

It isn’t possible to say much, even on my personal blog, but I will share some of my thoughts, that I’ve been wanting to…

In this whole journey towards finding the ‘right one’, with all the up’s and down’s that only life’s most valuable and tender aspects are accompanied by, there was nothing more powerful than dua… praying earnestly to Allah(swt) for what I wanted. It seemed difficult… very difficult… and at times, I found myself doubting more than believing… but He responded, and when He did… everything made perfect sense.

Honestly, all the apprehension, the worrying for who it will be, where he’ll come from, what the family would be like, whether or not we’ll get along, how things will proceed… that became meaningless when Allah(swt) lifted the veil, ending all the mystery in one stroke. F (as he shall be known on this blog) and his family are all and more than I’d ever imagined… Alhumdulillah. =) Now, it seems as if every moment I had spent worrying about a future I had no control over, was indeed spent in futility. But perhaps… this realization that Allah(swt) will only do what is best for me, was only possible once I had known a time when I worried all I could and it didn’t change anything. That’s a realization that allows me to accept the ‘wasted moments’ too as part of the bigger learning process.

Then, there’s also the whole question of what’s really right for me. For years, I had a certain kind of image in mind of whom I’d like to marry. With that image, I felt I was looking for all the right things and that would ensure a happy union. Instead, I learned that just because I had build up that image with all the ‘good’ qualities I knew, that didn’t necessarily mean they had to come together in that way for me to find real joy. Even I didn’t know what would really bring me satisfaction and happiness in all the different aspects of married life. So, when the ‘right one’ came along and he was really nice but quite different from what I had initially imagined him to be, I prayed to Allah(swt) for guidance… and put my trust in Him. If He had brought me to this point, without any glaring reason to say ‘no’ (and of course, many reasons to say ‘yes’), this must be the best for me, without a doubt. Preconceived notions thus become meaningless and it’s taught me to always pray for the best, and not stick, inflexibly, to what I think is right for me.

Lastly… but most importantly… I have only just begun to understand why there is so much emphasis on marriage in Islam. According to one Hadith, getting married is ‘completing half your Deen’. I now begin to see why the Prophet(pbuh) said that about marriage. Even though I’m only engaged right now, I have suddenly started to notice things about my personality, my weakness, all the areas I need to improve on in my worship, that I was’t focusing on earlier. I don’t mean to imply that it’s only being engaged or married that makes you think along these lines, but it is such a big turning point in life that it makes you pause, reflect and try to fix things before the bigger challenges ahead. I try to read up all I can, to learn, to improve myself and to know how to avoid pitfalls many people find themselves in when starting out in a new relationship. Here too, I’m blessed with sisters in Islam who inspire me through their experiences and advice on how two imperfect human beings can still learn to lead a happily married life. =) Alhumdulillah.

I can go on about this… but later, Insha’Allah. The difficult part was figuring out how to write all this… and since that’s done, I can look forward to sharing much more… soon, Insha’Allah. =) I end this post with the sincere dua that may Allah(swt) grant the singles amongst us, spouses that will please them and be the best for them, for this world and the next. Ameen. My dua is also for Allah(swt) to make you happy the way He has made me happy… ameen… and all this is according to what He Knows is the best for us, at the best time and in the best way. Your dua’s would be very kind and valuable… JazaakAllahu khayran katheera. =)

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18 responses to “Enlightened

  1. Wasif Tanveer April 16, 2011 at 10:49 am

    Masha Allah truly hubmle :)
    first of all i would like to say congrats and best of luck for the rest of your life and here after and may you both get a perfect happy life and above Ameen!

    secondly on they blessing of Almighty and recognizing them there is a famous quote “Main ne apney rab ko apney iradon k tootney (or sambhalney ) se pehchana hai” no doubt HE knows what is best for us and HE does it in HIS own way of perfection that is beyond our imagination and thinkings sometimes it just sets us back a bit but at the right time we know what HE has planned for us and what has happened that we couldn’t understand.

    I wish and pray that may Allah gives us patience and make us among the patience, May HE shows us the right path of guidence as well, and may we be among the ones who thank HIM for his blessings… Ameen! and best of luck once again!

    • Ameera April 17, 2011 at 3:55 pm

      Ameen and JazaakAllah khayr for your very kind dua’s! I deeply appreciate them.

      You said…
      “…sometimes it just sets us back a bit but at the right time we know what HE has planned for us and what has happened that we couldn’t understand.”

      That’s the crux of the matter – truly, we *don’t* know what He has planned, and for sure, it is always for our betterment because He wants us to come back to Him. SubhanAllah!

  2. Aly B - DiscoMaulvi April 16, 2011 at 2:22 pm

    Dedicated to F on behalf of Ameera:

    Lay Gaya Chheen Kay Kaun Aaj Tera Sabr-O-Qaraar,
    Bai Qaraari Tujhe Ai Dil Kabhi Aisii Tau Na Thi
    [Bahaadur Shah Zafar]

    May you receive the blessings of Allah (SWT), and His bounties be showered upon you, and may He create between the two of you a bond of harmony & goodness. May He give you the best in this life and the hereafter. May He fill your hearts with love, your souls with Taqwa & Iman, your lives with happiness, and your household with the patter of tiny feet. May He give you the guidance to be on the Sunnah of His Prophet (SAW) and the people of Paradise. Aameen.

    -Aly

    • Ameera April 17, 2011 at 3:58 pm

      Those were just beautiful dua’s, Br Aly! Ameen, JazaakAllahu khayr and I pray that each of those dua’s is fulfilled for you as well. Ameen!

      Thank you so much. =)

  3. Sarah Shafiq April 16, 2011 at 11:32 pm

    Salam Sister,

    MashaAllah many congratulations to you.Really happy to read everything you wrote and Alhamdolilah all these words of urs came to me at a perfect time and make me believe more(thanks a lot)…i completly understand how you would be feeling to describe everything in words because really after praying for years for good kismet when Allah bless us with such a day mashaAllah we really want to share :)…n i pray that inshaAllah i ll also get good kismet..ameen.

    For you, i wish and pray all the very best for future and Allah’s blessings for your life in both the worlds and a beautiful relation full of love,respect and care that makes each coming day of your life n that of ur loved ones more beautiful.ameen

    my prayers for all of us and everyone reading also.may Allah bless us all with good kismet :) ameen.

    • Ameera April 17, 2011 at 4:09 pm

      Dear Sarah, thank you so much for your comment and the sincere dua’s! Jazaakillah! =) It’s such a joy that someone understood exactly where I was coming from on this post.

      Really, Sarah, I wish my words could convey exactly how I feel about trusting in Allah(swt) now. I know I’m still not perfect here, and never will be in this dunya, but there have been too many instances in my life and the lives of some people I know… that I’d advise you the same… just hold on to dua. If Allah(swt) has withheld something from you so far, of a *surety* it is to your betterment.

      Believe me, there were times I fell into doubts that do not befit a believer. Those were the times when, despite praying thinking something was great for me, I didn’t see success. And I wondered if anything better even existed. But Allah(swt) Knew and He was testing me and teaching me. And when Allah(swt) responded to my dua, I thought, ‘Do I have any right, ever, after this to doubt dua and consulting Allah (Istikharah)?’

      My dua’s are with you, that you may be blessed in the way that it pleases your heart best… and is the best thing that could happen to you after Iman. Ameen. Just stay positive and *know* it is nothing but Allah(swt)’s Mercy upon you that decides when, where and how He blesses you.

      • Sarah Shafiq April 17, 2011 at 6:50 pm

        You are welcome Sister :).yes really i opened the mail n read evrything and it came from my heart that i really needed to read this,may be that is why i understood exactly how you would be feeling writing it down :).InshaAllah i will rememebr ur words in future also :)
        Thanks a lot for your dua …ameen sum’ameen :)
        God bless you

  4. Naureen Aqueel April 17, 2011 at 1:05 pm

    May Allah give both of you all the blessings of this world and the hereafter. Ameen. So happy for you my sister! :) Lovely post and I can relate to it in so many ways! :) I wanna meet up again!

    • Ameera April 17, 2011 at 4:12 pm

      Awww, thank you so much Naureen! Ameen and Jazaakillah khayr! :) Glad to hear you could relate, Masha’Allah. ;) Yes, of course, we should meet up… that meeting barely registered as one!

  5. Uncarved April 20, 2011 at 8:55 am

    mashaAllah. Congrats. Glad you’re writing again. Often visited to see nothing written.

    May Allah make every moment blessed and beautiful for you and your spouse, now and after marriage.

    Ameen.

  6. bucketofdreams April 20, 2011 at 6:56 pm

    Aww, mashaAllah! Alhumdulillah, I’ll be getting married soon too, inshaAllah and I think you’ve written about the entire process beautifully! =) May Allah grant you a lovely, lovely life ahead inshaAllah and may He make both of you the coolness of each others eyes, inshaAllah. =)

  7. Alisha April 25, 2011 at 11:27 am

    Congrats sister! Maybe because I am engaged as well, but I can totally ‘get’ every word you have written…it’s quite touching masha Allah. May Allah bless your married life…

  8. Shahi May 8, 2011 at 12:01 am

    Assalamualaikum sister…I am going through the phase u r telling of, what is gonna happen tomorrow..why things aren’t going as I wanted it & at times,doubting my own abilities ..or I dono..

    But like you say..I have no reasons to doubt HIS ways.. “nd put my trust in Him. If He had brought me to this point, without any glaring reason to say ‘no’ (and of course, many reasons to say ‘yes’)”

    Only I hope & pray I have the strength to go on until I find my answers, insha’allah.

    COngrats on ur new journey & May Allah Almighty keep you safe n strong in His Path.

    Shahira

  9. Muddassir May 25, 2011 at 10:40 am

    Is Mr. F also a doctor? Praying for your happy married life.

    • Farzeen June 6, 2011 at 6:34 am

      Assalaamu’alaykum wa rahmatullah dear Ameera!

      I’m glad to have read this post of yours alhamdulillah! May Alllah continue to bless you and grant you the best of this world and the next ameen!

      All the best inshaAllah! :)

  10. victoria October 31, 2011 at 9:31 am

    What a beautiful thought!

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