Between Dusk and Dawn…

Some *scribble* *scribble* by Ameera

Thoughts on love…

It’s windy here in Karachi tonight and as I sit here in my room, sipping hot milk and taking a short break from the books, my thoughts gently drift from one idea to another. It’s quiet and peaceful in my room and, after a fun and busy afternoon with my sister’s friends coming over, it’s nice to have some alone time.

The rest of my family is in my parents’ room, watching some light comedy show on TV. It makes me smile thinking of them all together, enjoying themselves. That’s because I know there’s contentment and love there. It makes me feel relaxed too, knowing that I can retreat to my room and study with a heart that’s at peace. Life has its ups and downs, for each one of us, and I know cracks and fissures can appear in the strongest of relationships. That’s why, I cherish these moments of comfortable companionship even more… knowing how trying it can be when things go sour, when people are hurt or wouldn’t talk to each other.

There’s so much to learn from watching other people, especially close family, and how they interact with each other. I’m the eldest daughter so I’ve naturally been witness to many incidents, scenes and changes in people around me and not just my own parents. I’ve been through times where things seemed difficult and didn’t make sense either. Why did she do that? Why did he have to say it that way? Then, over time, things started to fall into place. Childish notions of what ‘relationships’ meant were replaced by a different understanding – that each human being has some weaknesses, and that’s fine. It’s impossible to expect people to be perfect. Rather, the reality is that there are amazing people, each with their own particular shortcomings, but that doesn’t mean they’re failures in any way.

As I grow older, I learn something new everyday. I learn how families really function and that sometimes, real love and compassion lies in doing something that’s much different from idealistic expressions. I learn how keeping your mouth shut for five minutes can not only save you from a lot of trouble and embarrassment later, but can earn you much respect in the eyes of others. I learn how the darkest of times upon a family, upon two people who’re committed to each other, can turn into happiness and a real solid relationship that no one could even have imagined possible. It’s about holding onto patience and sincerely wishing to make things better, and if Allah Wills, it does get better… better than better.

I also learn little things from the many mistakes I make daily. When I talk to my sisters,  make a sarcastic comment, or hurt their feelings in anyway… the remorse after that and the pinching of my conscience shows where I was wrong. Sometimes, someone might need me for a minute or two and if I’m too busy in something I feel is more important (but which really isn’t)… it’s my loss in the end because what that person needed, was my love and attention. If I couldn’t give her that, what more could I ever possibly give that could compensate for that? Showering people with gifts is nice but if they know deep inside, you’re not a sincere person, it hardly means anything to them. Instead, make someone a cake or a cup of coffee or tea when you’re really busy and they really need it… that’s love. And that’ll leave it’s mark for sure.

Sigh… it’s either the effect of this hot milk I just drank or the light breeze coming in through the window… or maybe a tender moment fleeting across my soul… that these and so many other such thoughts have come to mind. Maybe it’s the satisfaction that I’m surrounded by people who do love me, just because they’re related to me by blood, and who do put up with my weaknesses and still like spending time with me. Maybe it’s the joy I find in their company, that I just want to express before it’s too late, before I never get another chance. Just today, my father got late coming back from his morning walk and, for an hour or so, I was worried to the point that I really just wanted to see him again and let him know how much he means to me. Alhumdulillah, he got back safe and, after giving him a “scolding” for not taking his cellphone, I did give him a hug too to let him know how much I missed him. Awkward as it may seem sometimes, it’s even more important to seize the moment while it’s there and not have to look back with any regrets later, Insha’Allah.

It’s getting late and I must put in some studying before I sleep. But wait a second… I just checked Facebook and my sister’s status update made this whole post even more relevant. You see, it was her birthday today and here’s what she wrote…

I have the Best friends and the Best family! Alhamdolillah! I mean they sent me off to Sunday Bazaar, snuck into my room, decorated it, blew up balloons, made a huge card, got a cake, gifts, a flower bouquet, a basket of chocolates!!, made pizza, cookies, cheese balls, gulab jamun and more AND almost gave me heart attack when I got home!!! No one would ever do this except out of love! ♥ So Thank you so so much! You made this a truly memorable and wonderful Birthday! There is really nothing I want except a bunch of loving and caring people!

Need I say anything more? Alhumdulillah! 

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22 responses to “Thoughts on love…

  1. anum February 7, 2011 at 12:29 am

    loved it ameera…. :)

  2. Sarah February 7, 2011 at 9:01 am

    WOW! This was really nice! I really liked it =)

  3. Sammy February 7, 2011 at 10:35 am

    Ameera, this was so beautiful! Whoever said, one’s best pieces come from being down in the dumps has obviously not read this post.

    I love the purity and calmness and gratitude this emanates.

  4. Zara Hayek February 7, 2011 at 11:08 am

    Nice read! Stumbled upon your blog through some others I was reading!

    Zara

  5. Cookie February 7, 2011 at 3:07 pm

    Aaaawww…sho shweet!!! It makes me want to…PUKE! Hahaha, just kidding! It makes me want to run around in circles, pulling at my hair, wondering as to what kind of cheesy, cheery family I got myself trapped in! Kidding again.

    *sigh* Okay. Swallowing up all the possible sarcastic, humorous remarks I could possibly make on this post (with much difficulty and much, much restraint – the Cookie monster feels wrestled into silence for this moment)let me just say: ‘You have touched me to ma core, oh, dear sister of mine!I have never laid eyes on a more beautiful and heartening blog post…it is serene, calm as the sea on moonless night and light as a feather falling in vacuum. Oh, my heart! It skips away in joy,twirling as it goes to the one place it calls home. Daddy, mommy, sisters. I love you, it says. And I am touched enough to quote from Shakespeare…

    “O, when mine eyes did see this post first,
    Methought it purged the air of pestilence!
    That instant was I turn’d into a hart;
    And my desires, like fell and cruel hounds,
    E’er since pursue me.” ~ Orsino, Twelfth night.

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  7. Amreen February 7, 2011 at 10:38 pm

    Zabardast!!!! Wonderful topic…. Loved it Ameera ( Kiran :) its difficult getting used to Ameera u know )…
    And I am glad that u have learned that keeping your moth shut for 5 mins can save you from a lot of trouble… because I haven’t learned it so far :$…. Anyway… It was a very well written.. I am going to suggest it to my other friends too…
    Tc :)

  8. Nauman February 8, 2011 at 2:56 am

    Nice post. A nice reminder of how we should be grateful for what we have sometimes. :)

  9. Dr Asad Khan February 17, 2011 at 9:42 am

    Nice writing reflecting the purity of emotions…. really wonderful! Thanks for sharing…:)

  10. Suhail Ahmad February 25, 2011 at 5:14 pm

    Bery nice :)

  11. Jawed Iqbal February 26, 2011 at 11:55 am

    You sure know how to make one feel jealous. Not only am I envious of the intimate relationship you have with your kinfolk, I also wish I had the skills to compose such elegant and graceful prose and articulate myself with such artfulness. You truly are a creative writer. Just to satisfy my curiosity..where did you learn to craft such handsome pieces?

    May ALLAH give everyone the joyous experience of sweet family bliss.

    Fee Amaanillah

  12. hamid March 19, 2011 at 9:54 pm

    salamunalaikum.

    Simply lovely!

    Let love be your Umbrella during summer to protect you from the harshness and heat of negative people and let love be your rainy coat during rainy season to give you the warmness you require.

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